Feeling Whole or Feeling Hole?

Well here it's a focus on the metaphor of Feeling Whole rather than "Feeling hole." It's possibility rather than despair. Feeling Whole presumes that we are growing to ever increasing fullness to be able to live more abundantly in all facets of life. Conversely, "Feeling Hole"  is the feeling of  "being swiss cheese" when we feel deficient and  incapable in the light of coping with life circumstance. It is that contracted, sunken feeling in your body when things are not right. Feeling complete, emotionally integrated, and fully available to meaningful relationship versus sinking into emotional holes is what happens when you Feel Whole.

Feeling Whole is using the wisdom of the body in concert with the mind for personal and relationship transformation. This is a whole person approach which honors a systems view to self and relationship growth, meaning everything is inter-related and you cannot treat one part without it affecting other parts. The mind and body comprise a whole system that functions within a larger system of relationship. A person who feels whole moves with self awareness and is authentic in relationship, contributing to the life of others as they progress.

Interestingly, the pursuit of Feeling Whole starts with "Feeling Hole" or asking "What can I do about my feelings of emotional and mental deficiency," or even recognizing the connection between the deficiency and personal behavior. It starts with a desire to heal pain and then expands into learning the wisdom of pain and being open to transmuting it into a feeling of fullness. We can then realistically navigate toward an optimal state of wellness.

We can transmute pain, discomfort, deficiency into gifts of wisdom and tools that help us in the journey through life. In the times when we feel challenged, even though we cannot visualize wholeness,  we can still trust that we are moving forward. Also, we can apply the technologies for gaining wholeness to our lives. When we allow it with confidence. Change can produce healing, personal growth, and improved relationship. We can see change as a gift that connects the mind and the heart, taking our place, as a part of an harmonious context with others.

Feeling Whole is feeling alive, utilizing all of one's abilities, enjoying deep, meaningful relationship, and being prepared for all the good things that life can provide us. We have the technologies for happiness within us, but we have to open to that potential. We can integrate and implement the tools of mind and body. Opening ourselves to our inner technologies brings us to knowing our wisdom, and living this truthfully with compassion. That is Feeling Whole. Now what happened to "Feeling Hole?"

For more information See Family Connection and you can also go out outside this web to view the Family Connection web site.

See also a description of a variety of Counseling Services
and their respective links in this site. There is also information at About Counseling.

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Susan Burns, MA, LMHC

Susan Burns, MA,LMHC,NBCCH Copyright 2004